Saturday, August 21, 2004

Another Pot

So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. (Jeremiah 18:3,4, NIV)
I hadn't planned to come here today, but there must be a place to weep, to laugh, to nod silently at oneself as God's fingers press gently, then harder. . . A place to sit while joints snap and marred, misshapen clay is caked into a lump, then smashed against the wheel, to be made into another pot.
One that seems best to Him.
And so I come, with questions that seem never to have answers. The answers that once consoled me only provide more questions. This is the faith I wanted, a true one. One with flesh hanging from its frame, with a beating, pulsing heart. No one told me that it would be my own flesh, my own heart that would be required.
Funny though, I should have known.
The best things are totally free and yet cost all--all my preconceptions, all my comfortable believisms and all my propaganda prayers. Today, I can find none of it to cling to, save a little dust on the floor, earth that was once my feet. Now I am shapeless, nothing, wondering what He will make me into.
A Starbucks teacup perhaps. . .
I've got the tipping over and pouring out down pat.
Free Refills
The waitress comes to pour me latte/Asks if I want more/I tell her no and sip my water/It tastes different than before
It isn't boiled clean or sterilized/It's a living stream of something/Gushing before my eyes
I take a sip, hold my throat/This drink isn't cold/It's a truth shake, a fire float
This is painful, cleansing brew/So why am I afraid to drink/Afraid of what it'll make me do
Fill me, Lord with You.
Fill me, Lord with You.

5 comments:

bobbie said...

i'm on that wheel as we speak. trying to figure out what is that is my call, what he's going to 'make me into'. how and when and why i'm here. i love that verse, i would have never found it on my own, so thank you again mary, as always amazing grace!

upwords said...

Bobbie,

I'm thankful that He shared that verse with both of us today. A gift. The wheel spins so fast doesn't it? Makes me think of a Maggie Becker song,"though the world spins round so fast, slowly I'm becoming who I am." Hold on. I can't wait to see how we turn out. :)

Blessings,
Mary

Anonymous said...

Bad as I need to be filled! :) And could You move a little faster, Lord? A sistah is drying up over here. No, I mean *me* Lord. Mary is over here, God drenched and gushing You all over the place. Tell her for me how good all of this is. How she's ministering grace to everyone you send. How You love her. How pleased you are at the beautiful creation You've made in her. Starbucks cup? Nah, she's so much more priceless (and those Starbuck cups are pricey! Shoot, the coffee is almost fo bucks!!) and let her know she's so much more lovely.

Thanks again, Jesus, for my friend.

Jaime said...

Perfectly, wonderfully said. Amen!

Jaime
www.achorshope.blogspot.com

River Girl said...

I needed this today! Wonderful thoughts. Tanks for sharing so honestly.